As human beings, we all want to be happy and to avoid suffering. To achieve this, it is immensely valuable to be able to cultivate and maintain a positive state of mind.  

“People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.” 

–Abraham Lincoln 

Cultivating and maintaining a positive state of mind can be an arduous process for some, for others it may come naturally. Regardless, it is immensely important to be honest with yourself and make the effort to live a more fulfilling, happy life. Please, take a moment to reflect on these topics I provide. 

Emotional intelligence, or EQ, refers to an ability to recognize the meanings of emotion and their relationships, and to reason and problem-solve based on them. Essentially, EQ is how one understands the emotions of others, one’s own emotions and how to manage them. 

The four-branch model of emotional intelligence describes four areas of skills that collectively describe many of areas of emotional intelligence. Specifically, this model defines emotional intelligence as involving the abilities to perceive emotions in oneself and others, use emotions to facilitate thinking, understand emotional meanings, and manage one’s own emotions. 

Happiness is often defined as “a state of well-being and contentment.” How can one achieve this state of well-being? One answer is by increasing pleasure and decreasing pain, but that kind of happiness doesn’t stay for long. Aristotle suggested that happiness involves feeling the right emotions. Such emotions are not necessarily pleasant emotions and may even be unpleasant, like anger or fear. Aristotle states that “to have these feelings at the right times on the right grounds towards the right people for the right motive and the right way is (. . .) the mark of virtue.” It is okay to feel how you feel. 

To start feeling true happiness, it is important to address where one falls on the emotion ladder and make an effort to move in a more positive direction. The next feeling may not be happy, you might have to get mad first to stop feeling sad. An individual will go up and down this ladder many times in life. Regardless, it is important that we understand how to get back to feeling happy. 

Self-actualization is a key part to personal development. The road to self-actualization can begin at a young age with curiosity and exploration. But for most, this curiosity is not cultivated and often unknowingly crushed. For many adults, self-actualization comes from a sense of dissatisfaction with how they live or who they are becoming and knowing they are capable of more. 

Fulfillment comes from experiencing growth. Experiencing growth can come in many different forms. Growth often makes one feel uncomfortable or vulnerable. Other times growth can be learning a life lesson. Feeling fulfilled plays a unique role in our happiness because it requires us to be honest with our self. 

 An often-cited definition of mindfulness is, “paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally” which embodies the three axioms of mindfulness: 

• “On purpose” or intention
• “Paying attention” or attention 
• “In a particular way” or attitude

After digesting and comprehending the information above, the feeling of an emotional guidance system begins to surface. The purpose of emotion is to give one feedback about the content of their thoughts. This lets one know if they’re directing their life toward pain or toward pleasure. Negative emotion is an indication that one is moving away from pleasure and toward pain and redirection is in order.